Matthew "Mattman" Harris




blanking blank blanker



This is not the usual blog you would expect from me but I feel pretty strongly about it.  With all the bad, evil things that have happened in this country over the past few years I feel it's very important to remember something.  The good far outweighs the bad.  It really does.  So while everyone is down in the dumps and gloomy - do the unexpected.  Something nice.  Everyday.  One thing per day.  I realize this might sound cornball or Fatboy would call me gay or a blanking blank blanker, but it works.  And I'm not talking about for your wife or your husband.  Sure they deserve something nice too, but I'm refering more to people who you think need it.  For instance on Monday I paid for the lady behind me's lunch at McDonald's.  I didn't get to see her reaction, but hell it had to be happy.  Probably mad her day.  Today I went to pick up my prescription at the pharmacy (diabetic meds nothing good) and I got to do it again.  The girl working the window accidentally dropped a dollar out of the window handing it to the person in front of me in line.  The wind was blowing hard and the dollar was gone.  When I got to the window she was looking for it outside the window and I told her it was only a dollar and it blew across the parking lot.  Almost like I was saying "it's only a dollar, no big deal!"  I didn't mean it that way but I feel like it may have come out that way.  She says it was gonna come out of her paycheck and looked like that $1 would really make a difference.  So I gave her a dollar out of my pocket and she looked like she was gonna cry.  She thanked me like I gave her $100.  It doesn't have to be about money either.  Tell the frumpy girl at work she looks pretty every once in a while or she looks like she lost a pound or 2.  One thing per day.  It will make their day and yours too. 
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Oh,
-Maffew

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Kanye Twitty

I love Old Spice Swagger body wash, it is the best smelling stuff.  It makes me feel sexy and smell sexy.  Mmmm sexy.  Last night I switched off froma  bath to a shower, which Katie normally uses.  I didn't wanna get out once I was all naked and wet....mmmm naked and wet...so I used HER body wash.  Some kinda rasp berry scrub boocrap deal from You Know Who and Body Works.  I used it and it  smelled awesome.  I get into bed and she's like "Nooooo Uh Uh!"  Before I could make sweet love to her she made me go re-shower using my Swagger.  I come back, she's asleep.  I got worked because of my Swagger.  Ain't that a Kanye Twitty song?  Pissy.

Oh,
-Maffew

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they rarely make sense

I've gotten a lot of emails and tweets and the occassional facebook post asking me if Paige is dyslexic, had a stroke, has a stroke daily, and/or swallowed her tongue.  I love Paige.  I've known her longer in radio than anymore.  She gets her news typically 30 minutes before we go live.  Sometimes she gets it 6 minutes before she reads it.  The problem is even if someone gave you a paper with words on it, wouldn't you read it with very little issues?  I read her tweets and they rarely make sense.  The English on her Facebook posts are like David Ortiz wrote them.  So I don't have the answer.  Maybe it's all of the above. 

Oh,
-Maffew

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People : David Ortiz




 

Call The Law, I'm done!

I'm pretty pissed.  Actually I'm pretty damn pissed!  I wanted, before I die, at a fairly young age, to visit the Egyptian Pyramids.  Even since I got that pyramid book at Cone Elementary School I wanted to go see 'em.  Now these nutjobs over there are rioting and burning everything acting like an America whose team just won the National Championship.  They scream Death To America, Blank America, Iron Shiek from President, etc.  They're crazy!  And because of these f-wads I will never get to see those pyramids in Egypt.  The closest I can get is going back to Cone Elementary School's library and see if that old book is still there.  I dought I'll have any long because last I heard homeless people likved in the school and that place is huge so several hundred might be living up in there like they're in a blankin' hotel.  So I will take it off my bucket list.  Graceland is probably closer to my speed anyhow.  Call The Law, I'm done!

Oh,
-Maffew

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Graceland is probably closer to my speed

I'm pretty pissed.  Actually I'm pretty damn pissed!  I wanted, before I die, at a fairly young age, to visit the Egyptian Pyramids.  Even since I got that pyramid book at Cone Elementary School I wanted to go see 'em.  Now these nutjobs over there are rioting and burning everything acting like an America whose team just won the National Championship.  They scream Death To America, Blank America, Iron Shiek from President, etc.  They're crazy!  And because of these f-wads I will never get to see those pyramids in Egypt.  The closest I can get is going back to Cone Elementary School's library and see if that old book is still there.  I dought I'll have any long because last I heard homeless people likved in the school and that place is huge so several hundred might be living up in there like they're in a blankin' hotel.  So I will take it off my bucket list.  Graceland is probably closer to my speed anyhow.  Call The Law, I'm done!

Oh,
-Maffew

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full of those little pills

Too many people and not enough room.  That's what I think and guess what it's the truth.  NYC schools are giving out the morning after pill to students.  They don't even have to tell their parents UNLESS the parents opted out.  I have a daughter and on one hand you have to let the parents be parents.  And they're not.  And haven't been for a while.  Not that my parents were bad but they never told me anything about sex.  Nothing.  And when Sex Ed class papers were sent out they opted out.  Yet they didn't tell me either.  I found out through porn.  And lemme tell you, that is not the way to find out.  You feel very inadequate.  But I did pick up a lot of pointers.  Kids are gonna have sex.  They just are.  Your parents did.  So are the Morning After pills ok?  I say yes, load those back packs, Trapper Keepers, and Rainbow Sandals full of those little pills.  Just don't tell my momma I said that.  What up Mayyyyyyyyyyyyyyrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Oh,
-Maffew

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Topics : Education




 

Read Mor Blog

A chicken sandwich.  A freaking chicken sandwich is drawing a line in the sand in America.  I've argued both sides and laughed at both sides.  If sins are equal, and according to the good book they are, then stuffing your face with fast food is equal to homosexuality.  Your body is God's temple.  But we use those words to be advantageous for us or when it works.  We respec ta  business for being closed on Sunday to respect the Sabbath yet we leave church and go to the places that are open.  Shout out to Ryan's.   I rememeber asking my parents, if working on Sunday's are really that important they why are we going out to eat and making people work on Sundays.  There was no reason and there's still not one.  We all have freedom of speech and that's great.  Go USA, except in the Olympics because I could careless.  Messing up my NBC programming!  Put it on PBS.  But not on Mondays because I watch Antique Roadshow.  God bless fast food, God bless freedom of speech, and God bless 'Merica!

Oh,
-Maffew
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blame the media

Like a lot of you I'm really saddened by what happened in Aurora at the Dark Knight premiere.  I wish these pricks who want to die and leave their mark by murdering innocent people would just put a gun to their heads and end it all.  These scumbags are being romanced by the news.  The news.  The national, our locals, everyone.  They start dissecting this guy's life, what makes him tick, who were his friends, what kind of music did he listen to?  Who gives a flying blank?  These people are then worshipped by other loners.  And look at all the people talking about this guy, he's trending on Twitter - I could get that too!  And the women, they will write him in prison, ask for his hand in marriage, send naked pictures.  Seems even more attractive to these lowlifes.  "Women will wait to have sex with me now!"  So who do we blame?  Obama?  No.  Gun control?  No.  I say we blame the media.  Also Jeff Lewis Neal.

Oh,
-Maffew
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Locations : Aurora
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Fill in the blank

There's a new word and it's not the bird.  It's blank.  We've adopted it and a lot of the P1's have as well.  If you think you're saying a word and it is within the FCC standards you just replace it with a blank.  "I blanked my blank off last night"  "I drank the blank outta that Budweiser Platinum"  Some people had asked about my blank the other morning, referring to me saying blank not referring to my actual blank.  So I thought I was address it here in my blankin' blog.  So go back to looking for a blankin' nerve pill or wondering what the blank you're gonna fix your blankin' kids for blankin' dinner.  I am going to blank my wife.  And it's not what you thought, it was hit.  LOL jk? 

Oh,
-Maffew
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TRG RCB yeah you know me

I think we may have been blanked with.  Nine can up with the now legendary idea of Roman Candle Baseball.  The ptcher shoots roman candles at the batter who tries to make contact and hit back at the pitcher.  Easy enough?  Except our "Roman Candles" shot out firecrackers and we were not prepared for it.  If you miss the shot it's gonna fall at your feet and fire off.  Check it.



Oh,
-Maffew
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