Matthew "Mattman" Harris




Nude pics of Katy Perry

I was almost killed the other day.  On the way back from an unsuccessful fishing trip with my soon to be adopted son, I stared death in the eye.  And I told him GFY.  Ok maybe I didn't almost die but I could have been paralyzed.  As we were leaving Saluda I noticed a bee the size of beer bottle cap.  I was reaching for something to hit it with.  Nine, who was driving, said to take my boot off and hit it with that.  As I got it off the bee flew toward my face!  I had to act fast!  I had.....to escape!  I ripped the big red door open and dove out of Nine's pickup.  I executed a perfect tumble onto the shoulder of the road with no injuries wearing one boot.  I hate bees.  Over the years I have been stung a lot.  I'm not allergic either.  And for some reason when a bee gets near me I get naked.  It all goes back to the Summer of 1988.  Me and my friends in the neighborhood were skaters.  I skated a Vision Gator Gonzalez board.  Years later I think Gator killed his wife.  Someone research that.  So we're skaters and this kid Steven had a jump ramp.  Believe it or not I could skateboard pretty good.  In Steven's backyard we were skating around and someone stirred up a hornet's nest.  Literally.  I was nearby and several bees went up my pants leg.  I commenced to taking my pants off.  Taking my shoes and socks off.  And when I couldn't find the bees, taking my underwear off.  There I stood, wearing only my socks in front of my 4 friends.  To make matters worse I slung my pants into the tree and Steven hand to get them down for me. Next time I'll tell you about the time a poisonous snake bit my junk and Fatboy saved my life.  Twitter.com/OhMaffew Facebook.com/TheMaffew

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02/25/2011 8:15PM
Nude pics of Katy Perry
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03/10/2011 7:55AM
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