Nights with Diesel
Wish you could be here! I'm drinking a 6-pack and need you to clean up my mess!
 

Matthew "Mattman" Harris




I wanna see the birth certificate

I'm no fan of the Kardashian reality show.  I am a fan of Kim's caboose.  And even though Big Booty Judy has had more work than B*th Br*dley, I think she's pretty hot.  There's something about her I don't like.  Maybe the annoying voice, get back to you on that.  Kourtney is probably the most normal 'Dashian yet seems to lack in the personality department.  Then we have "The One Woman Gang" Khloe.  She's married to NBA player Lamar Odom and I'm pretty sure she could kick his ass just like he could kick mine for this blog about his unfortunate looking "wife."  And I say "wife" because as a black NBA player he could get way, way, way, hotter.  Detlef Shremp's wife is hotter.  Ok maybe not.  But in a time when people are begging for Obama's birth certificate I too join the fight for the truth!  But not Obama, Khloe!  And in my best fake Glenn Beck I say this, God doesn't do things like this.  He doesn't do that to moms and dads.  Imagine hearing you get to go on a blind date with Kim Kardashian's sister and the Armenian female version of Brad Garrett pops into the backseat.  I'm starting to think the late great Robert Kardashian ran around on Mother Kardash and had a romp in the melon patch of Bea Arthur.  I feel bad for The Big Khlo.  But I feel worse for Lamar Odom's back, lap, gag reflex, and legs.  twitter.com/ohmaffew facebook.com/themaffew

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04/09/2011 10:27PM
I wanna see the birth certificate
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