Fatboy
All we seek is WORLD DOMINATION! Nothing more! That's why we are...THE PLANET!!!!
 

Matthew "Mattman" Harris


Posts from April 2012


It hides ugly nicely
I'm no model, but don't consider myself ugly.  You've heard me say that I think I look better the more facial hair I have.  It hides the ugly nicely.  But I'm on the radio.  It could last forever or until the Alzheimer's that Nine says I have eventually kicks in.  In TV it's much, much more difficult.  Especially for broads.  In the TV market if you have made it simply on your looks you're gonna have it rough when you hit your 40's.  Sure you can get botox and tucks here and there but everyone knows.  And that's too bad.  Unless you didn't make based on your looks alone.  Next thing you know, "you" 10 years ago walks in.  A vacation here and there, she fills in and next thing you know, sayonara.  Then you gotta join us uglies on the radio where looks really don't matter.

Oh,
-Maffew


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Head hair
I love my beard.  In fact I didn't start putting conditioner on my head hair until I was told to use it on my beard.  "Head hair"...you laughed.

Katie is in love with my beard-she likes to pull on it when she gets excited!  But America hasn't always been in love with the beard.  Beards became a political issue for a time in the early 1940's.  For several decades before that they had been almost unknown.  Joseph Palmer "expressed himself" by wearing a long beard.  It was no big deal wherever he went, until one day.  He injured some representative of the established order who attempted to hold him down and cut the beard off.  Palmer was thrown into jail.  If he had been a martyr to some great religious faith instead of to the sanctity of his beard, he might now be celebrated rather than forgotten.

R.I.P.  Joe

mattman "the rise guys"

Oh,
-Maffew


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My nerves were shot
I'm no longer a virgin.  A paintball virgin, that is.  On Friday's show I took my first on air paintballs shots.  I got shot twice, once in the gut, the other on the side of my neck.  I don't know anything about the gun, but it hurt like hell.  My nerves were shot.  JLN and I were blindfolded playing "Rock, Paper, Paintball."  Imagine playing Rock, Paper, Scissors blindfolded and knowing if you lose you're gonna get shot.  But you don't know what your opponent threw.  Again my nerves were shot.  JLN took a shot to the knee and it didn't bust.  Was it frozen?  The ball was nowhere to be found.  On the final throw JLN lost and he got shot at least thwice by some other gunmen.  He was pissed and I would have been too.  He gets crapped on every day on the show and he got taken advantage of again.  That's between him, Nine, and FatBoy.  I believe he and Nine have buried their hatchet so we shall see.  And we shall.  Here's the video of my virgin performance.  My nerves were shot.



Oh,
Maffew

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It was 11:15 PM and I was sitting straight up in bed
I got my start doing "The Wrestling Matt Show" on WCCP 104.9.  I loved wrestling.  I still do, sometimes.  This past WrestleMania got my excited again and the Monday Night Raw following did so even more.  Former UFC Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar returned to WWE and F5'd John Cena.  It was 11:15 PM and I was sitting straight up in bed.  Goosebumps, yeah I had 'em.  I knew there were rumors but I figured he was still contractually obligated to the UFC.  When he came out I marked out hard.  That's why wrestling doesn't have the same appeal to me that it had in 1999.  When WCW was in a ratings war with WWE it was hot.  Wrestlers were wrestling for one company one Monday night and on another one the following week.  Those days are gone.  Yeah I realize there's TNA but it's not near the level that WWE has reached.  Who's the only guy that could show up on WWE now that would make me pop?  I guess Sting, but that's likely not to ever happen.

Oh,
-Maffew

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